Happy Birthday to me

So it's that time of the year again.

I'm officially one year older, and hopefully, all the wiser.

In comparison with my last two birthdays, I think this is one of the best birthdays I've had.

I felt a bit sad that J wasn't around, and my family is 10,000 miles away. But mum rang me while at work today and sang me a birthday song, 'Heeeeey Jess,' she said, 'haaaappeee birthdaaaaaay to youuuu... haaaapppeee birthdaaay to you...' I laughed. She’s so sweet. And then I had to whisper loudly down the phone, 'Mum! I'm at work, can't really talk loudly!'

People who cared, and I cared about, got in touch. There were some surprising voices from the past. And those voices I expected to hear from, which I didn't, they truly don't matter anymore.

I had a lovely meal with J on Sunday before coming back down to London and he bought me the loveliest necklace in the world – ever. And also, the loveliest dress. He evidently has very good taste. He also wrote me the sweetest card that almost made me cry.

I finally moved out of New Cross after the most nightmarish year of my life, living in a place I absolutely hated. Ironically, I say I regret it, but I don't, really. After all, it's all an experience and at least I get to say I've lived out of my comfort zone before. It's an extremely difficult feat, which many others underestimate. So goodbye and good ridance to New Cross, I hope I don't see you ever again.


Had a lovely dinner with great company today too, it was so nice to see everyone. Only thing was the food wasn't really what I'd expected; I didn't get my SE Asia menu, which was my specific intention, and the restaurant basically lied to me when I made my reservations. But I had the best cake ever, present from Lynne – my bestest friend. Whom I'm living with now. And I'm so glad I don't have to walk back to New Cross alone anymore, constantly looking behind my shoulder to see if anyone was coming up to stalk/rape/stab/shoot me. We walked back arm-in-arm back to her flat from Paddington station... and compared our tums to see whose was bigger from the massive meal. I realised in retrospective horror from all the photos taken, that I’ve actually put on weight. The creepy, evil thing that insidiously deceives you into thinking you can eat more, but then suddenly hits you one day in the face (or literally, on the face) in full force.

Lynne also bought me matching sunglasses – mine red, hers green. It fitted perfectly and I love it!

Last year, two of my best friends forgot my birthday. Everyone else who mattered, J, Lynne, etc... weren't around. I can't remember what I did with my family but I remember being all sad and melancholic – which I usually do get around this time of the year when I wonder where my life's really heading to. Strangely, I had the sense that I started a new chapter of my life today, especially when I reported for my first day at work at a particular Sunday national newspaper. New beginning, new surroundings, yet everything was uncannily familiar.

I think I've changed quite a lot in the last year. But in other ways, further cemented the original me. Only thing I know, I'm surrounded by great family and friends – I'm truly lucky, in so many ways. I love you all.